dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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