Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
