Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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