I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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