Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
