is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
