If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
