I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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