I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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