i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
