Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
