Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
