She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
