And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
