so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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