Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
