Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
