i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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