have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
