It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize