thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
