need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
