I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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