Are we in a gay sports bar?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Farmville is her only friend.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
