i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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