so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
