We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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