just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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