Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
