Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize