are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
