he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You don't make any sense
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