Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I could fuck to npr.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
