Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
