Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
