I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
