Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
