You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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