the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
