upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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