Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
