this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
