i barfeds in our rink
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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