i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
