WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
