just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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