Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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