S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
tell me about the eggs
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