Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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