But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
