Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
