I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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