If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize