I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
