Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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