a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
