Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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