i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
