haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
