Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
