the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
