just come out here and I will go home with you...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
