the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
