At least make sure they are 18
Why
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
