These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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